READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
