a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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