final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
My vagina is very pro this idea
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
