I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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