There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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