K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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