Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
