So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
