"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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