i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
