you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
NoShamevember. You game?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
