party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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