she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i drank out of a bidet.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
