the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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