Can Purell be used as lube?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
