My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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