I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
