Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
