No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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