he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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