Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
