Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I FOUND THE LEGS
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
