Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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