did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
