I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
