We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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