i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Randomize
