Just fell off a train. Bad.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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