I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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