entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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