Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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