Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
