This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
