I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
