You just made me feel so damn special
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Dignity is for republicans.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
