idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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