You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
