Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
