My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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