Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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