For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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