yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
This toilet bowl is my home.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
