i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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