just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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