idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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