Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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