He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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