Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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