At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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