scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
