I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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