we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Its about making memories worth repressing
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
