idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
