i barfeds in our rink
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
