I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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