so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
