My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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