My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
